My blogs about Gifted Education

Archiv für Juli, 2011

Solution Oriented Parenting of Gifted Children

By Roya Klingner
Today is my turn and I am honored to be blogging for SENG’s National Parenting Gifted Children Week.
Please follow the blog tour all week for fantastic writing on giftedness and parenting this special community.
National Parent Gifted Children Week is hosted by SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted)
Download SENG’s free NPGC Week ebook, The Joy and Challenge: Parenting Gifted Children 


In my position as head of Bavarian Center for Gifted and Talented Children, I work with many parents, who contact us for consulting about the problems of their gifted children.

Even as a child, solutions were more important to me than problems and I included this concept into the work of my center. I noticed that most of the gifted children have the potential to solve their problems easily, if we help them and trust them to focus on the solution. It is a fact that most parents are looking to do the best for their children but sometimes they forget to consider the needs and wishes of their children.  Sometimes love tends to cloud their perception of their children‘ s emotional needs. Should we not try to look at the world through the gifted children‘ s eyes?

They want their children to achieve, what they have not been able to achieve as a child without asking the child about its expectations and overtax them. Sometimes they focus so much on the negative behavior, that they forget, that they are dealing with a child, even if the gifted children do not act like the other children of their age group. In a society focused on achievment  and grades the development of a gifted child into an underachiever feels like a shipbreak for many parents and in this situation they turn to me to guid them to a safe harbour.

The best tip for parent that I can suggest is to focus on positivity and put their energy into finding a solution:

When facing a problem,stop overreacting or exaggerating .It only creates a negative cycle of thoughts.Instead treat it as a challenge and focus your energy on solutions.

Every action and every feeling begins as a thought in your mind.Therefore if you can control your thoughts,then you can control your actions,your feelings and ultimately your life.

Our thoughts play an important role when working on a problem.Let it be positive and not negative.This helps you to focus your energy on solutions. (

The first step is to ask the child about a possible solution, about its feelings and wishes. On some occasions the inability to express themself will cause the gifted child to start crying all of a sudden and then it is up to us to find a creative solution for them to explain e.g. writing, drawing, acting, roleplaying to show us what is going on in their mind.

The role of parents in the life of a gifted child is challenging and vital. It is not really important for parents to be gifted themselves, it is more important to give their child a feeling of understanding, love and security. The road of raising a gifted child is sometimes stony but focussing on solutions and positivity can make it easier.

With this all the best for you and your gifted child!